Life has a way of shaping us through both the moments of joy and the storms we weather. I’m a midlife woman, a divorced single mother of four, now blessed with seven beautiful grandchildren. My journey has been one filled with challenges and growth, especially as someone living with fibromyalgia, managing pain, grief, and responsibilities—all while navigating the world as an introvert. Two years ago, I lost my mom, and since then, the weight of life has felt even heavier. Through it all, I’ve learned the importance of self-care, eating clean, and maintaining my mental health. It’s a journey I’m still on, and I hope my story resonates with others who may be walking a similar path.
The Weight of Loss
Losing my mom two years ago was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. She was my anchor, my guide, and the one person I turned to when the world felt too overwhelming. When she passed, I was left feeling lost, trying to balance my grief while being both a mother and father to my four children. As an introvert, grief made me retreat further into myself, but I didn’t have the luxury of staying there. My children needed me, my work required me to stay focused, and life, as it always does, moved forward.
The fibro fog that often accompanies fibromyalgia made it even harder. There were days when my mind felt like a cloud, and I struggled to keep up with the demands of work and family. I work with numbers all day, and I lead a team in management, so the pressure to stay sharp is always there. Yet, some days, I felt like I was running on autopilot, barely able to keep track of the simplest tasks.
Balancing Work and Fibromyalgia
Working in management, especially as someone who is introverted, is no easy task. Leading a team requires communication, decision-making, and constant interaction, all while managing the daily fluctuations of fibromyalgia pain. There were times when I’d wake up in pain, unsure how I would make it through the day. The fibro fog made it hard to focus, and the constant fatigue drained my energy. But I showed up. I had to.
I often think about how challenging it is to lead when you’re struggling internally. Not only was I dealing with my fibromyalgia, but I was also carrying the emotional weight of my personal life. Managing people is difficult enough without the additional strain of chronic illness and introversion. I felt the pressure to be strong, to be reliable, even when I felt anything but that. But I pushed through because I knew that I had to provide for my family.
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As a single mom of four, I’ve had to wear many hats. I’ve been the nurturer, the disciplinarian, the provider, and the comforter for over two decades alone. It’s exhausting, especially when you’re already dealing with chronic pain. There were days when I would come home from work, barely able to stand, but I still had to cook dinner, help with homework, and be present for my kids.
The emotional toll of being both mother and father was immense. I had to make decisions alone, raise my children alone, and figure out how to be everything they needed. As an introvert, I often needed quiet time to recharge, but with four kids, quiet time was a luxury I rarely had. Yet, I found moments of peace in the chaos—small pockets of time where I could reflect, breathe, and remind myself that I was doing my best.
Learning to Care for Myself
For years, I put myself last. Between work, raising kids, and managing fibromyalgia, there was little room for self-care. I was so focused on taking care of everyone else that I forgot about myself. But as my children grew older, I realized that I couldn’t keep going at the same pace without burning out. I had to start prioritizing my own health, both physically and mentally.
It wasn’t an overnight transformation. Learning to care for myself took time and effort. I started with small changes—taking a few minutes each day to meditate, setting boundaries at work, and allowing myself to rest when I needed to. Over time, those small changes added up, and I began to feel more in control of my life.
The Importance of Clean Eating
One of the biggest shifts I made was in the way I approached food. With fibromyalgia, inflammation is a constant battle, and I realized that what I ate was affecting how I felt. I began researching clean eating and how it could help manage my symptoms. At first, the idea of overhauling my diet felt overwhelming, but I knew it was necessary if I wanted to feel better.
I started cutting out processed foods, refined sugars, and gluten, all of which are known to trigger inflammation. Instead, I focused on whole foods—fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats.
The difference in how I felt was almost immediate. I had more energy, my pain levels decreased, and the fibro fog started to lift. Clean eating became a form of self-care, a way for me to take control of my health and feel better in my own body.
Prioritizing Mental Health
Mental health is just as important as physical health, especially when you’re dealing with a chronic illness. For years, I pushed through the pain and exhaustion without really acknowledging how it was affecting my mental well-being. But after losing my mom, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
I began therapy, through which grief was processed and stress from being a single mom with fibromyalgia was managed. Moreover, balance and mindfulness were practiced, keeping me grounded and present. It wasn’t easy at first, but over time, I noticed a shift in how I handled stress and challenges.
I also learned the importance of saying no. As an introvert, I often felt drained by social interactions and the demands of others. Learning to set boundaries and prioritize my mental health was a game-changer. I no longer felt guilty for needing time to myself, and I stopped pushing myself beyond my limits just to please others.
Finding Joy in Midlife
Now, as a midlife woman with seven grandchildren, I’ve learned to find joy in the little things. I’ve come to realize that life isn’t about pushing through the pain or constantly being in survival mode. It’s about finding moments of peace and happiness, even amid chaos.
I’ve reconnected with hobbies that I used to love, like reading and gardening, and I’ve made time for myself in ways that I never did before. I’ve also learned to accept help when I need it, whether it’s from my children, friends, or coworkers. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for support; in fact, it’s one of the strongest things you can do.
Self-Care and Living for Myself
For the first time in my life, I’m learning to live for myself. I’m no longer just a mom or a manager—I’m a woman who deserves happiness, health, and peace. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s what allows me to show up for the people I love and be the best version of myself.
Living with fibromyalgia has taught me the importance of listening to my body, honoring my limits, and giving myself grace. I’m still learning, but every day, I make the choice to prioritize my health and well-being.
Share and Advocate
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that midlife is a time of transformation, growth and gratitude. If you’re navigating chronic illness, loss, or the challenges of being an introvert, know that you’re not alone. Let’s spread awareness about midlife, share our stories, and advocate for a better understanding of the challenges we face. Together, we can create a community of support and empowerment for those of us who are living with fibromyalgia, introversion, and the many complexities of midlife.
Let’s lift each other up, share our journeys, and inspire one another to live fully and authentically.